My Weblog

Home
Archives
photos
qotd
quotes
tagboard

August 2006
SMTWTFS
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Valid XHTML 1.0!

Powered By Greymatter

Wednesday, August 30th

Senior begins... today.

music: some show on MTV
mood: crazy nervously excited.

Senior year is now.

How the heck did that happen?
I am a senior in college ... 3 1/2 months away from graduation, and I still remember my senior year of high school like it was yesterday! I am absolutely in awe of how fast time has gone by ... and though I'm grateful for so many of my experiences, I also know that there is a lot I could've done to make a lot of them much more meaningful than they were.

However, since I am not one to live with too much regret (and by 'not too much', I actually mean almost none) ... I will just say this. I have spent 3 years at Linfield connecting learning, life and community ... and you better believe that this semester is going to send me out with a bang! I've got things to do, people to see, time to spend having fun! And that is exactly what I plan on doing.

And yet ...
I am still a little nervous.
And when I say a little ... I really mean a lot.
Sam on 08.30.06 @ 12:48 AM MST [link]

Tuesday, August 29th

And this is love: two souls that freely meet, and have no need of proving anything.

music: the fan slash the people behind frerichs
mood: cool eh? finally relaxed

Good things:
--trying to make waffles @ midnight on a Tuesday night ... with a waffle iron
--cooking without measuring cups. lol
--best friends
--having 8 billion movies to pick from
--eating homemade waffles at 1am (because that's how long it took to make them.. lol)
--when the weather finally cools down! yay fall weather!!
--finally being DONE with summer term!

Not-so-good things:
--not greasing the waffle iron ... lol Believe me, if you don't do it, you'll have a waffle split in half. Still tastes delicious, but it's a bit harder to eat. wink

I don't really have any other not-so-good things... and that one wasn't even a real not-so-good thing ... just a funny mishap. The lessons you learn in college.

Lesson #9560386038: always grease the pain prior to putting waffle batter on it. smile
Sam on 08.29.06 @ 10:46 AM MST [link]

Sunday, August 27th

worth reading


Dinner Out

I was sitting alone in one of those loud, casual steak houses that you find all over the country. You know the type--a bucket of peanuts on every table, shells littering the floor, and a bunch of perky college kids racing around with longneck beers and sizzling platters.

Taking a sip of my iced tea, I studied the crowd over the rim of my glass. My gaze lingered on a group enjoying their meal. They wore no uniform to identify their branch of service, but they were definitely "military:" clean shaven, cropped haircut, and that "squared away" look that comes with pride.

Smiling sadly, I glanced across my table to the empty seat where my husband usually sat. It had only been a few months since we sat in this very booth, talking about his upcoming deployment to the Middle East. That was when he made me promise to get a sitter for the kids, come back to this restaurant once a month and treat myself to a nice steak. In turn he would treasure the thought of me being here, thinking about him until he returned home to me.

I fingered the little flag pin I constantly wear and wondered where he was at this very moment. Was he safe and warm? Was his cold any better? Were my letters getting through to him? As I pondered these thoughts, high pitched female voices from the next booth broke into my thoughts.

"I don't know what Bush is thinking about. Invading Iraq. You'd think that man would learn from his old man's mistakes. Good lord. What an idiot! I can't believe he is even in office. You do know he stole the election."

I cut into my steak and tried to ignore them, as they began an endless tirade running down our president. I thought about the last night I spent with my husband, as he prepared to deploy. He had just returned from getting
his smallpox and anthrax shots. The image of him standing in our kitchen packing his gas mask still gives me chills.

Once again the women's voices invaded my thoughts. "It is all about oil, you know. Our soldiers will go in and rape and steal all the oil they can in the name of 'freedom'. Humph! I wonder how many innocent people they'll kill without giving it a thought? It's pure greed, you know."

My chest tightened as I stared at my wedding ring. I could still see how handsome my husband looked in his "mess dress" the day he slipped it on my finger. I wondered what he was wearing now. Probably his desert uniform, affectionately dubbed "coffee stains" with a heavy bulletproof vest over it.

"You know, we should just leave Iraq alone. I don't think they are hiding any weapons. In fact, I bet it's all a big act just to increase the president's popularity. That's all it is, padding the military budget at the expense of our social security and education. And, you know what else? We're just asking for another 9-ll. I can't say when it happens again that we didn't deserve it."

Their words brought to mind the war protesters I had watched gathering outside our base. Did no one appreciate the sacrifice of brave men and women, who leave their homes and family to ensure our freedom? Do they even know what "freedom" is?

I glanced at the table where the young men were sitting, and saw their courageous faces change. They had stopped eating and looked at each other dejectedly, listening to the women talking.

"Well, I, for one, think it's just deplorable to invade Iraq, and I am certainly sick of our tax dollars going to train professional baby killers we call a military."

Professional baby killers? I thought about what a wonderful father my husband is, and of how long it would be before he would see our children again.

That's it! Indignation rose up inside me. Normally reserved, pride in my husband gave me a brassy boldness I never realized I had. Tonight one voice will answer on behalf of our military, and let her pride in our troops be known.

Sliding out of my booth, I walked around to the adjoining booth and placed my hands flat on their table. Lowering myself to eye level with them, I smilingly said, "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. You see, I'm sitting here trying to enjoy my dinner alone. And, do you know why? Because my husband, whom I love with all my heart, is halfway around the world defending your right to say rotten things about him."

"Yes, you have the right to your opinion, and what you think is none of my business. However, what you say in public is something else, and I will not sit by and listen to you ridicule MY country, MY president, MY husband, and all the other fine American men and women who put their lives on the line, just so you can have the "freedom" to complain. Freedom is an expensive commodity, ladies. Don't let your actions cheapen it."

I must have been louder that I meant to be, because the manager came over to inquire if everything was all right. "Yes, thank you," I replied. Then turning back to the women, I said, "Enjoy the rest of your meal."

As I returned to my booth applause broke out. I was embarrassed for making a scene, and went back to my half eaten steak. The women picked up their check and scurried away.

After finishing my meal, and while waiting for my check, the manager returned with a huge apple cobbler ala mode. "Compliments of those soldiers," he said. He also smiled and said the ladies tried to pay for my dinner, but that another couple had beaten them to it. When I asked who, the manager said they had already left, but that the gentleman was a veteran, and wanted to take care of the wife of "one of our boys."

With a lump in my throat, I gratefully turned to the soldiers and thanked them for the cobbler. Grinning from ear to ear, they came over and surrounded the booth. "We just wanted to thank you, ma'am. You know we can't get into confrontations with civilians, so we appreciate what you did."

As I drove home, for the first time since my husband's deployment, I didn't feel quite so alone. My heart was filled with the warmth of the other diners who stopped by my table, to relate how they, too, were proud of my husband, and would keep him in their prayers. I knew their flags would fly a little higher the next day.

Perhaps they would look for more tangible ways to show their pride in our country, and the military that protect her. And maybe, just maybe, the two women who were railing against our country, would pause for a minute to appreciate all the freedom America offers, and the price it pays to maintain its freedom.

As for me, I have learned that one voice CAN make a difference. Maybe the next time protesters gather outside the gates of the base where I live, I will proudly stand on the opposite side with a sign of my own. It will simply say, "Thank You!"

(Lori Kimble is a 31 year old teacher and proud military wife. A California native, Mrs. Kimble currently lives in Alabama)
Sam on 08.27.06 @ 07:23 PM MST [link]

Tuesday, August 22nd

We can rewrite history.

music: Anberlin -- "We Can Change the World"
mood: smile productive and very happy

][edit: backdate this entry to 4:53 this evening. smile][

I thought that since it's been a while since I've actually updated properly, now would be a good time. Though I only have 5 minutes ... so maybe it's not good. lol

Anyway, long story short is that I'm back @ school and I'm happy. I love it here. Res Life Orientation has been interesting because of the dynamics of staff and because of my position on staff and some of the people that have and haven't been around. But it's good. smile I'm happy to be here!

I rear ended someone last week. razz No good. lol Took it in for an estimate today and will be getting it fixed @ the beginning of September.

My little apartment is amazing! smile smile I love it!! It's so nice not living out of one room anymore! smile Besides, it gives me more room to throw my stuff. wink lol

Brandon and I are together ... and happy. smile I miss that boy like nuts, but that's life, I suppose.

Chris was here for a week and though it was probably bad timing for him to be here (I was only slightly stressed during my last week at home.. razz), it's ok. It was so good to see him and hang out with him! I missed him quite a bit, that's for sure. He's in Bolivia right now with another person I miss loads, but that's ok.

I've made an official decision to apply to BYU-Provo for Grad School. I would like to apply to at least one other place, including the Hallmark Institute of Photography in Mass. Applying doesn't mean I have to go there, right? Right! smile

My family is doing well. I love them. smile Period, the end.

Anyway, it's dinner time. We're going out tonight!! yahoo! Golden Valley Brewery, here we come! smile

Adios amigos! big grin
Sam on 08.22.06 @ 07:55 PM MST [link]

Saturday, August 19th

Heroes are made when you make a choice.

music: Superchic[k] -- "Hero"
mood: smile Happy

Should I Tell Them
Shaun Groves

Walking with you is not without hazards
Trippings this traveler's curse
Price paid for falling is more than my stumble
In a world that is watching and waiting for words

But I listened when You said to go
And I set out in spite of my fears
About truth mixed with my imperfection
And the question of what to say when I got here

And now that I'm here
Should I tell them that
You are the one who has made me
And saved me and set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am a perfect example
Of all You can do with a life.
What should I say to them?
What if I'm failing them?
What should i tell the tonight?


Now don't get me wrong
I'm thankful to be here
With this song to sing and a spotlight on me,
But lately I'm wondering if you are mistaken,
If you're seeing all of me there is to see.


Cause on every face I detect
The same questions I've posed to you
Like do you speak through the imperfect
Are we too dirty for your light to get through?
I want your light to get through.


What should I tell them when
They're thirsty Lord
My cup is empty Lord
Come and lead me here in this place
Cuz I'm honest, yeah, but I'm unprepared
And I'm just plain afraid

Sam on 08.19.06 @ 12:31 AM MST [link]

Tuesday, August 8th

Excuse my extreme mushiness.

mood: smile very very happy

And this is love: two souls that freely meet, and have no need of proving anything. --Paula Reingold

There is a certain boy in this world who makes me feel like the most amazing woman on the planet and I know that there isn't a single thing he wouldn't do to see me smile. There is a boy whose name makes me smile and whose presence means more than that of any other person in my life. When I wake, he is my first thought and when I think of him, my heart smiles. It has been three years of stop and go, give and take, on again/off again ... and my heart still beats faster when he kisses me. He still takes my breath away and he still makes me happy beyond belief.

There is a certain freedom that comes from loving someone so deeply and knowing that you are loved in return. There is a certain joy that overtakes your soul when you know without a shadow of a doubt that what you have is real ... and true ... and committed. When you know that it's okay to be committed to him because he is just as committed to you -- you don't worry anymore. Yeah, you still get jealous sometimes ... yes, you still argue ... but do you worry? Not a single bit.

I know that sometimes I get worked up over stupid little things that aren't worth a second thought, but I know that when it all boils down to it, he doesn't care. And it doesn't matter that sometimes I overreact because he loves me despite my faults. He loves me because of my faults. He knows perfectly well that I'm human ... and I know that no matter how many times he frustrates me, he doesn't mean to. He's doing the absolute best that he can and I try every day to be the best that I can be for him. Because that's what he deserves ... someone who supports him and loves him and wants nothing but the best for him. Someone who would shoot down the stars if he asked her to ... someone who will never leave his side. And that is the someone I am trying to be. Not because he asks me to be that person or because he wants me to be that person or because he expects me to be that person ... but because I want to be that person for him. Because I love him that much.

smile

Anyway, those are my sappy thoughts tonight.

Brandon Charles Trask,
I love you.
There is nothing else to say except that.
You are that extra special something in my day.
And I love you for it.
x's and o's,
Sammy

“[He] belonged to me. [He] was , you know, all the things I wasn't. And I was all the things [he] wasn't. [He] could paint circles around anyone; I can't even draw a straight line. [He] was never into sports; I've always been. [He] hand ... it fit mine.” -Jodi Picoult, The Pact
Sam on 08.08.06 @ 12:44 AM MST [link]

Friday, August 4th

Dear England: send Assists NOW!


mood: big grin excited!!

Assists is coming tomorrowwwwww!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!


big grin big grin big grin big grin

Okay, I need to finish getting ready.

It's the last day of work for me, btw. smile AND it's payday AND we're driving to Portland a la noche after Sarah's guitar lesson AND I get to see Marisa AND spend the weekend in Portland with my love and one of my best friends AND Jacob comes home (even though I don't get to see him, it's still exciting!) AND we're going boating this weekend AND I get to eat Cadbury chocolate tonight AND did I mention Assists is coming to VISIT!!!!! big grin

This is a tremendously happy Friday!
Sam on 08.04.06 @ 07:34 AM MST [more..]

Wednesday, August 2nd

Don't you wish your boyfriend was great like mine? ;)

music: TV in el otro room
mood: sleepy tired!

Uhh, bottom line is that I have a fantasticly amazing boyfriend whom I love ... even though he's impossible sometimes. wink Here's what happens when we decide we're both too tired to drive to the other person's house ... we end up deciding to hang out anyway. Oy. He is going to brave the exhaustion and drive a mi casa, but I did promise that I'd go to his tomorrow noche after volleyball.

Oh..
Important announcement:
Sand volleyball, Fichner Park, 7pm, Thursday night.

Be there or be rectangle! wink
Sam on 08.02.06 @ 08:50 PM MST [link]