My Weblog

Be good. Do good. Live good.

music: Brad Paisley -- "That's Love"
mood: very happy and content

Everything melted, rained, unraveled, became, grew wings, attempted flight, flopped, tried again, succeeded. Just another day. ~ The Persistence of Yellow, Monique Duval

While in Park City with Anthonie tonight, I read two of the most amazingly inspiring books I have ever come across. They were both short and simple, but straight to the point and also, straight to the heart. It was particularly interesting because they were both the epitome of what I strive for in my life. One was called Live Good and the other is simply called She..., both written by Kobi Yamada.

She... pretty much goes like this: (I found this online and I'm pretty sure it's the entire book, actually. lol)

She must be something special. She is.
Celebrate HER.
She loved life and it loved her back.
Celebrate her PASSION.
She listened to her heart above all the other voices.
Celebrate her WISDOM.
She pursued big dreams instead of small realities.
Celebrate her PRIORITIES.
She saw every ending as a new begininning.
Celebrate her RESILIENCY.
She discovered her real measurements had nothing to do with numbers or statistics.
Celebrate her SELF- ESTEEM.
She was kind loving and patient...with herself.
Celebrate her TENDERNES.
She woke up one day and threw away all her excuses.
Celebrate her ACCOUNTABILITY.
She realized that she was missing a great deal by being sensible.
Celebrate her SPIRIT.
She turned her cant's into cans ahd her dreams into plans.
Celebrate her GOALS.
She ignored people who said it couldn't be done.
Celebrate her INDEPENDENCE.
She had a way of turning obstacles into opportunities.
Celebrate her MAGIC.
She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her and discovered she could FLY.
Celebrate her FAITH.
She discovered that she was the one she'd been waiting for.
Celebrate her SELF-RESILIANCE.
She added so much beauty to being human.
Celebrate her PRESENCE.
She walked in when everyone else walked out.
Celebrate her FRIENDSHIP.
She just had this way of brightening the day.
Celebrate her RADIANCE.
She made the whole world feel like home.
Celebrate her WARMTH.
She decided to enjoy more and endure less.
Celebrate her CHOICES.
She decided to start living the life she'd imagined.
Celebrate her FREEDOM.
She colored her thoughts with the brightest hues.
Celebrate her OPTIMISM.
She was an artist and her life was her canvas.
Celebrate her BRILLIANCE.
She ran ahead where there were no paths.
Celebrate her BRAVERY.
She crossed borders recklessly, refusing to recognize limits, saying bonjour and buon giornos as though she owned both France and Italy and the day itself.
Celebrate her JOIE DE VIVRE.
She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye.
Celebrate her STRENGTH.
She not only saw a light at the end of the tunnel, she became that light for others.
Celebrate her COMPASSION.
She designed a life she loved.
Celebrate her JOY.
She took the leap and built her wings on the way down.
Celebrate her DARING.
She said bye-bye to unhealthy relationships.
Celebrate her HAPPINESS.
She remained true to herself.
Celebrate her AUTHENTICITY.
She made the world a better place.
CELEBRATE HER

And really, this should be a book that is purchased for me by someone else ... but I think it is okay because these are qualities that I recognize in myself ... qualities I strive for in my life, and it is an important reminder of where I am headed in the future.

I would also like to point out how blessed I am to, in four weeks, be marrying a man who recognizes these qualities in me and points them out to me in the most incredible ways possible. He truly is my soul mate, my best friend, my other (better) half, my prince charming, and the absolute love of my life.

The last week or so has been one incredible journey for me; the stress of school and the realization that I am going to be a fantastic teacher finally collided and have begun to make all of this seem less like a chore and more like the opportunity of a lifetime. Because it is. It is such an amazing opportunity! The professors I am studying under, the colleagues I am studying next to ... they are amazing; only amazing is an understatement. Because they are the most brilliant people I have ever met, spoken with, and learned from. What I am doing right now ... at this very moment ... is EXACTLY what I want to be doing and where I am going is EXACTLY where I want to be going.

So many times in the past, I have suffered from self-doubt and anxiety about whether or not the path I'm about to choose is the "right" one. Right being in quotations because really, is there ever just one right path? Is there ever just one way to get where you are headed? Is there ever just one right choice?

I don't know.

But I do know that there is strength found in the making of the choice; there is a great risk in making the choice; most importantly, there is great joy in making the choice.

Life is a series of choices, some of which can easily be answered with a simple "yes" or "no", though sometimes that "yes" or "no" is not as easy as it seems. Sometimes there is great deliberation in determining the answer because even yes and no leave room for the gray. If there is one thing I have learned recently, it is that life is not black and white. There is always gray. There is always a middle ground. There is always something else to consider and another point of view to examine. And when the choices you have to face are not as simple as "right" and "wrong", or "yes" and "no", it is imperative that we realize that the gray area exists. No one ever promised us an easy life, because if they had done so, they would have been lying. But let me tell you, there is so much to be said for those difficulties ... so much to be said about the things we have to go through to become the people we want to become.

Since moving out and officially being "on my own" ... I have learned the following things (along with hundreds of others that I am inevitably forgetting right now):

--You have nothing to lose by being completely honest with people.
--Sometimes getting along with people is more important than liking everything about them.
--Best friends come in the most unexpected places.
--Everyone has a story; every story is longer and more complex than you ever could have imagined.
--Brilliance is everywhere and in everyone. So is humor, intelligence, integrity, strength, and amazing ability.
--Laughter will make the most stressful day 150% better. So will ice cream.
--It's okay to complain; life is difficult sometimes. Complaining doesn't make you pessimistic or bitter unless you let it.
--The choices I make do not need to be right for anyone but me.
--Long distance relationships suck ... but it makes the time together that much more amazing.
--Anticipation is the purest form of pleasure.
--Pretending like you have it all together when you don't gets you nowhere.
--Being there for someone is always more important than having someone be there for you.
--You can't make a fool of yourself in front of real friends. It doesn't matter what you do or say. They still think the world of you.
--I want to live a life worth living, and I want to actually live.
--Children with autism will blow your mind in every possible way. So will their families.
--Differences make life exciting. Whether it is a difference of opinion, a difference of background, a difference of religion, a difference of culture, a difference of value ... it doesn't matter. Difference is always a good thing.
--I want to be a teacher for the rest of my life. I want to make a difference in the lives of young children, I want to make a difference in the world. I want that difference to start within me and be completely apparent and undeniable through the life that I choose to live.

It is amazing how two simple books can help me express what I have, until this point, been unable to put into words.

It is remarkable how being completely honest with people about things I have gone through brings such immense strength.

It is undeniable that moving to Salt Lake City and attending Westminster College is the best choice I could have made at this point in my life. Everything happens for a reason ... and though I am only three months into this program, I have already begun to see the clear reasons for this set of occurrences. It is also evident that the reason will become clearer and clearer as the rest of my life unfolds.

This is what it means to really be living.
It's amazing.
Sam on 07.20.07 @ 11:26 PM MST [link]