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05/12/2007: "Love conquers all."
music: Friends, season 7mood:
tired
But if something was really important, fate made sure it somehow came back to you and gave you another chance. Events conspired to bring you back to where you’d been. It was what you did then that made all the difference: it was all about potential. ~ The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen
Well, here I am ... at 2:45 in the morning ... writing about a boy whose heart and mind lifts me to places I never knew existed. As per typical, it takes the going away to fully remember it ... or maybe it's not even that. Maybe it's the going away that allows us to have time to remember it. Is that bad? Do we really get so wrapped up in our busy lives that we actually forget to remember the things that make us who we are?
I was bored ... and thought I'd read through some old posts on Brandon's website (www.not-so-simple.com). And I'm not talking like 4 months ago old ... I'm talking about 4 years ago old. I read a few from the month we started dating and then skipped ahead to the month after we broke up sophomore year. Then I came back to my website and started reading some of the posts from last April when we (finally) got back together. It's fascinating how much things have changed -- how the two of us have changed -- and how the events of our lives have brought us to where we are now, on the brink of a new chapter of our lives ... one that we will be starting joined as man and wife.
Then, as I was thinking about those things, this quote came up in one of my entries and it really made me grateful that Heavenly Father deemed this relationship so important that He kept bringing chances back into our lives. Heaven only knows we needed them! I am so thankful for the time we had together when we were young ... there is nothing quite like the love of two young people who are completely and utterly head over heels for each other. There is nothing quite like knowing that, when I was 17, I met a man who was so undeniably perfect for me and now, at 21, I will be his wife. There is nothing quite like knowing that he has seen me grow and he has been with me and has faced life's challenges with me. There is nothing quite like looking back and realizing how much we have grown together as a couple and at the same time, how much we have grown as individuals.
When we were kids, we didn't really know any better ... we didn't know that life was hard, we didn't know that there would be things that we simply couldn't fix. Things we couldn't handle. But to us, none of that really mattered as long as we had each other. We didn't care if the world came crashing down around us ... as long as we were in each other's arms.
Now, 4 years later ... I still feel the same way. It doesn't matter what happens to me -- it doesn't matter what happens to my plans or my ambitions. It doesn't matter if, instead of Plan A, I have to use Plan Y ... as long as we are together, I know that I am strong enough to make it through. I know that, so long as he is holding my hand, I have the power to do whatever needs to be done. If the world came to an end tomorrow, I would be content knowing that I have spent the entirety of my adult life (as of today) loving a man for whom I would do anything for. And I would be content knowing that he would do nothing short of the same for me.
Why I bring all that up ... I'm not entirely sure. I think that between the two of us, we have experienced more than our fair share of life -- and I think that, as a couple, we have undergone more than our fair share of challenges. But look where we are now. We are 97 days away from joining together in the holiest of unions ... 97 days away from becoming husband and wife. 97 days from standing before those closest to us and proclaiming our love for one another. And honestly, I can't think of a single person with whom I would rather spend my forever. Growing old with him will be nothing short of a dream come true. "You're like a dream that hasn't ended yet, and I am anxious for the rest."
Moral of the story?
I don't know.
I guess, if anything, it's about taking chances, even when you think you're all out of chances. It's about giving forgiveness and unconditional love, even when it seems like you should only do the opposite. It's about trusting that God puts people in your life at certain times so that you can capitalize on the opportunity. It's all about the possibility. It's all about what you do with those possibilities. Life is short, but it moves so fast. Hang on and enjoy the ride. And when someone comes along with whom you enjoy spending the ride with ... hold on tight. And if, by some unfortunate turn of events, Heavenly Father sees it fit to take that person away, trust that He will either bring that person back to you at a later time or bring you someone completely different. Either way, it will be exciting and either way, if you let them, people will bless your life in ways you never imagined.
And with that, I'm going to bed.
xo
[[ily BCT]]